If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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