Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
