Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
