And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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