i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
