So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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