if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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