in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the day after is always just damage control
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
