Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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