you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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