the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
