So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
