Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
