yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
