wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
