So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
