would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
