nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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