Duck Duck Cougar?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
