This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
