i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
