I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
