i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
