Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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