So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
