His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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