So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this just has baby written all over it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
