im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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