It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
