whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
