he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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