She said her name was "party"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
