More tranny stories later!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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