if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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