I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This house was built for laser tag.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
