he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
