New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
