He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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