I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
