my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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