No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
