You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
