You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
