We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
