capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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