Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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