fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
