i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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