If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
