definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
