my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
