Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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