i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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